Guest Post: How To Survive a Vampire Attack

Today we have a guest post from Ileandra Young who's new book Silk Over Razor Blades releases on Monday. It will be available on Amazon and her website

Ileandra writes Fantasy, horror, comedy and general fiction while the other half of her brain works under the pen name Raven Shadowhawk.

And now, I'll let her take it away:


Hi, I’m Ileandra and I thought you might be interested in this very interesting excerpt from an old text published by The Clerics in 1843. Though it has been modified for the modern day order of Clerics, established in 1999, the essence of the text remains a fascinating read.
I hope you enjoy it.

When one of these dark creatures decides that you’re to be their man course, there are very few things you can do to stop them. Myths and legends aside, true vampires are vulnerable in very specific set of ways. Taking advantage of these things requires special training that most civilians don’t have. However these five tips may one day save your human life. Take heed.

One – Be Prepared
This may sound like fear mongering, but in truth its common sense. You wouldn’t walk the streets at night on your own for fear of mugging, and it’s the same with vampire attack. Though strong and powerful, vampires don’t really want to draw attention to themselves. Attacks tend to happen in quiet, secluded places where very little can be seen or heard.
Stay away from those places.
Should you feel a little prickle down your back that gives you a sense of being watched, don’t ignore it. Walk faster. Get into your home and lock the door.

Two – Keep Calm, Keep Quiet, Don’t Panic
In a worst case scenario, you’ve been caught. But you mustn’t panic. Obviously this is tricky, but you must remember that vampires respond it. Some, particularly older ones, can feed on fear as well as blood though it doesn’t sustain them like blood does. They recognise and enjoy the scent of fear and too much of it can turn a simple feed into a blood gushing mess which you are unlikely to survive. If you stay calm, a vampire will only take what they need to make tribute to their disgusting false god. This amount of blood isn’t enough to kill you; so let them take it. The better to survive and attack another day.

Three – Recognise The Truth: The Myths Aren’t Real
Sunlight? Garlic? Holy water? Crosses? None of that will save you from a vampire determined to have you. If these things were true weaknesses, do you really believe vampires would be able to remain hidden in this day and age? No. But for their choice of worship and dietary needs, vampires look, act and speak just like you or I.

Four – Don’t Make Them Angry
Vampires are feral creatures. Much of their behaviour stems from instinct and that includes their need to drink blood in offering to their false god. One of the basest responses of any living creature is to attack when goaded and a vampire will do this if you anger them. Sometimes even when you don’t. Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut, your head down and let them do what they need.

Five – Tell No One
The danger isn’t over when the vampire is gone. A cautious vampire, particularly an old one, will watch a human victim for some time afterwards just to ensure that 1) they have not become a vampire themselves and 2) they keep their mouths shut. If you’re unfortunate enough to retain your memories of the encounter, don’t tell anyone. Not only does it put you in danger, but also every single person you tell. Is it worth the risk?

And there you have it. Vampire survival tips from a bunch of half-mad fanatics to ensure you survive a vampire attack with your human life intact. Remember, they aren’t out to kill you – unless they are. ;-) They just want your blood. Give it to them and in all likeliness you’ll live to not tell another living soul about it.

Do you have any handy tips? Anything you’re willing to share to help save your human brethren? Share them in the comments below.


Lenina Miller, ditsy and pampered bride to be, wants nothing more than to walk down the aisle in her scandalous red dress to the gasps and awed stares of friends and family. Her plans are shattered when a late night mugging not only scars her face and neck, but drops her in the centre of a frenzied police investigation to apprehend the attacker before he strikes again.

On the field of battle in 30 BC, Saar, son of Yafeu, sacrifices his life for his sovereign, Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt. Betrayed by the man he loves, forced to watch his country burn under Octavian’s hostile takeover, Saar’s agonising death appears to Lenina with all the lucid force of a true memory.

Two lives, separated by thousands of years, brought together through one night of violence.

Haunted by the memories of a man long dead, Lenina finds her body transforming, her appetites for food and flesh magnified to terrifying proportions. As the attentions of the investigating detective force her to choose between lust and love, Lenina also finds herself a target. The vampire who attacked her knows she survived and will stop at nothing to finish the job he started.

Ileandra Young is one of the pen names of Leah Osbourne, 31 year old Leicester self-published author and freelancer. Leah writes fantasy, erotica and general fiction and contributes regularly to the blogs of Leicester’s Phoenix Writers. She also writes fiction and ‘how-to’ articles for Creative Frontiers, an online forum dedicated to readers and writers of all skills and backgrounds. Her existing releases are released published through Little Vamp Press and can be found here.

Find Ileandra around the web:

Twitter: (@ileandraXraven)


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