Oct 9, 2015

7 Things You'll Eat As A Writer


 
Your weight in comfort food. Seriously, pass me the doughnuts. Pick your poison and expect to pop open that box/bucket/wrapper/whatever because there will be days you hit an awful spot in a draft, a revision, or a review, and you’ll want to have your stash handy (or your delivery boy’s number on speed dial). Other days, you’ll crack open your go-to snack because you’re burning through a ms and you CANNOT STOP FOR ANYTHING! SOMEONE BRING THIS MAN A STADIUM PAL!

The ends of Pens. I don’t make the rules.

Tear soaked… anything. Don't worry if you're mid-draft brain has you sucking the moisture out of a tear stained sock to rehydrate yourself (unless it's a dirty sock, then be afraid; if it's not your sock at all… well, I guess it's good there's no one around to judge you.)

Your words. They won’t sustain you, but you can bet you’ll eat those black lines and curves you plop down on the page from time to time. You’re going to make commitments that are just out of your ability (1million words in a year? Heck yeah! 1million words next week? Laughs uncontrollably and dies of frantic attempts to breathe)  


Your pride. You're going to make mistakes (raises hand) and you're going to kick yourself about them afterward (raises hand higher). Sometimes, you're going to dwell on them so long it's unhealthy (punches ceiling with fist, fan blade cuts wrist, dies in agony).

Preconceived notions of the world – Let’s face it: we’re all raised to believe certain things are true and some of them will be. But we don’t know everything. Our parent’s don’t know everything and they certainly didn’t know it all while they were raising us. We’re raised with prejudices (I hate tomatoes) and as a writer you have to work around those things in order to expand your view of the world. (Most of my characters like tomatoes). QUESTION EVERYTHING.

SPIDERS!!! Okay, let's face it, there's some ridiculous statistic that I can't be bothered to look up right now, but it says you're going to be eating spiders in your sleep. Who knows, maybe spiders are the key ingredient that makes chocolate taste good? One way or another, you're eating those eight legged creepy crawlies, so get over it now. In fact, if you can take those arachnid aperitifs and turn them into a book, more power to you (unless you plan to regurgitate their corpses and sew them together in some sort of arachna-necronomicon. Don’t do that.)

 

Also, remember hydrate.

 

 
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1 comment:

  1. Loved this! I heard that weird statistic about spiders and I didn't sleep well for days. *shudders*

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