7 Things You Should Have On Your Desk

Pens. Oh, so many pens.

There is nothing more exasperating than needing a pen and not being able to find one. Or worse, using the one you have on hand only to find out that the flimsy piece of marketing that you’ve been relying on for the last two months has finally given up the ghost. Pens are important. That ink can be the lifeblood of to-do lists, notes for books, posts, and revisions. It’s important. Don’t slack on that.

Note Paper.

You might think this is a very practical answer and it is… but I might be headed down a different path than you. Paper is a great tool. It can do amazing things, like keep those little thoughts that would otherwise burrow so deep in your brain you’ll only remember them at 3 in the morning when you wake from a fever dream. They can be used to make boxes or airplanes or cranes – when you need a break from your brain. But most importantly, they can be used to ward off those evil distraction offenders who seek to pull you from your work with the temptation of something “fun.” SLASH, people. It’s the only way.

Inspiration material.

It may seem silly and potentially a waste of space, but brain fatigue can hit at any time, and if you have to get yourself to pinterest to find those inspiring images, you’re going to fall into the distraction hole and I for one am not a fan of trying to claw my way out of those. Having inspiration material – be it print outs of pictures from pinterest, quotes from your favorite authors/public figures, or that dragon your aunt got you for Christmas three years ago – has the potential to keep you on track.

The blood of your enemies, in a vial or jar or something. No one needs that mess.
Used as a talisman to ward off the demons of procrastination for centuries. Remember, deep paper cuts are the preferred method of collection, but a normal blood draw or a stab to the jugular works as well. Just be sure to cover your tracks and if anyone asks, say it’s a gelatin experiment your niece made in her 6th grade science class. Use the right incantations to seal the jar, and this might apply to the above category as well.

Water. Hydration is key.

Dehydration is the last thing you want when you’re trying to get all the things done. Imagine the scenario. You’re working away and BAM, dead. Should have drank that water. Okay, in all seriousness, if you drop dead at your desk, it’s not going to be a product of dehydration, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep water on hand. If you’re working away, a trip to the kitchen to get a drink can totally break your productivity. Keep water on hand (it’s better for you than soda anyway) and keep your thoughts flowing and your fingers flying.

No, not a computer mouse, the little white ones with cute pink tails. Why you ask? Productivity. Put that mouse in a wheel and watch it go. Then feel bad that you’re not getting as much done as that rodent. What does he have that you don’t. Feel the ire, then feel the burn… in your fingers. GET TO WORK.

The beating heart from your chest.

Seriously. That’s a better place for it. You’re far less likely to get it broken if you just remove it entirely. Keep it safe on a pillow (red, satin) where no one can get to it but you… and maybe the mice.


  1. This is probably my mostest favoritist list of all things in the whole of the universe. Thank you for that.


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